Inaugural Post

This all started a few months ago when Rachel and I were driving back from a weekend at our friend's cabin. (This is Minnesota. I think you're required to spend at least one weekend at a cabin every summer. I believe it's a state ordinance.) After a couple of hours had passed and a wide range of subjects had been discussed, Rachel turned to me and said, "You should start a blog." I'll admit, I'd thought about it. I myself enjoy quite a few blogs, particularly those that are clever or funny, but I didn't want to just add to the internet noise. I wanted to find a unique angle. For some reason, I was finding this topic search an insurmountable stumbling block to the whole project. I explained all of this to Rachel and she replied, "I'll give you the topics."

Time passed. I have no excuse for that. For some reason I woke up this morning and thought, right, let's do this thing. I called Rachel and told her I was starting my blog and I needed her to give me some topics. "Well," she said, "Why don't you start with Balloon Boy?" Naturally I replied, "Ahhh, really?" Haven't we heard enough about this spectacle? Rachel told me the point of a blog is to say something that hasn't yet been said. I'm not sure that's the point of every blog. Some blogs certainly, but there are also an inordinate number of blogs whose only point seems to be to comment on the absurdity in old photos. I'm a big fan of those blogs. Calling back to a previous conversation we had, Rachel said, "Start with 'People are gross.'" Okay, here we go.

People are gross.

I'm just going to assume that, unless you've been living under one of those proverbial rocks, you know the story of little Falcon Heene's non-ride on a weather balloon that has since turned out to be a hoax perpetrated by his father to gain publicity for a science/reality television series. (I'll also assume that if you are living under that rock you have no internet access and aren't reading this anyway.) While I have quickly tired of getting any further updates on this bizarre tale, I still find myself wondering what kind of delusional, attention-hungry mind could hatch this type of plot. How did that logic go? My series idea was shot down, but if I pretend that my 6 year old child was accidentally launched in a weather balloon we had built in the backyard, the studios will see the error of their ways! If only America could hear about my eccentric, yet fascinating family, the public outcry for a television show centered around our science-loving lifestyle would be deafening! But how to get the word out? Set Falcon afloat! Wait, that may seem irresponsible. Perhaps we could just say he was on the balloon, but in reality he could be hiding in a box in the garage rafters. And what did Daddy Dearest think when the ensuing mayhem grew to include multiple state and government agencies and even shut down the nearby airport? In for a penny, in for a pound? Or was the coverage even better than he allowed himself to dream? Did he feel bad that the stress caused his child to puke on not one, but two national morning shows or was he just worried that he would be found out?

People are gross, indeed.